Black Scorpion

 

                             So, Wonder Woman 1984 is HOPEFULLY coming to theaters on Christmas Day, or if you're feeling lazing and want to watch it on HBO Max, go ahead you bum. But till then I have an amazingly bad movie that EVERYONE defiantly needs to see, and I don't care if you don't like superhero movies, chick-flix or even cheesy horror films. You need to watch this film NOW. Okay, so remember when I talked about a certain show that was so mesmerizingly bad you can't take your eyes off it, well say hello to the TV made film that started it all. That's right everyone Black Scorpion started out as a TV made movie, one Showtime. Although God forbid Roger Corman didn't direct this, but he did have a hand in it, by making this happen. And now after watching the so-called Black Scorpion Begins type movie, I now rank this as my all-time favorite, guilty-pleasure movie of all time and I'm stating the facts now that everyone and I mean everyone needs to see this movie, hell I'll even fight anyone to the death in say that Hallie Berry's Catwoman although I don't know if there are any one out there so I'll just leave it at that. 

                            Now the way I see this movie is really kind of the same origin storyline to Batman Begins. After witnessing her father getting shot by a District Attorney furthermore suspended for police brutality, Detective Darcy Walker (Joan Severance) decides to take the law into her own hands and downs a mask to become Black Scorpion, there in the darkest of nights she begins to uncover a conspiracy that had something to do with her father’s murder.

                             I'll say this a billion times this, is the greatest guilty pleasure I've ever witnessed in my whole life, moreover is pretty much getting me through this miserable year. Basically, the way Corman said it in his own words to writer Craig Nevius, "I wanted to do a female Superman-Spiderman-Batman". Now I honestly don't know if Corman came any close with Superman or Spiderman concept but at least he nailed the Batman part and yet I'm not sure if he ever heard of Wonder Woman either. Now I know that there's really nothing to say, because this film speaks for itself, like this film starts off with Severance's character going undercover as a prostitute in broad daylight, in BROAD DAYLIGHT. And yet I'm thinking to myself "what, what, why?". Now every movie buff or movie critic out there would know that Corman when it comes to making movies whether it’s a high budget movie or a low budget film, he really sucks at doing both when it comes to budget, believe me because I saw a lot of his film on Mystery Science Theater 3000. But so how when it comes to making this, this was so bad on so many levels, but I couldn't look away and really, I though the show would be different but now I understand why this movie somehow looks like a train wreck but a good train wreck because nobody died. Hell even, thirty minutes of the movie it seems like a simply good gritty cop movie but then the next hour it turns upside down and becomes all science fiction when we have some kind of Mr. Freeze knock off, in which I guess, but yet why go back to science fiction side when you were doing so well dark and gritty yet cheesy cop drama? But then again, I shouldn't question it because yes, it's awesome and bad but I just have to many questions. Okay so here is another quote from Roger Corman when he was in search for Joan Severance and this is very interesting when you think about it. "My demands were -- I felt -- not difficult in Hollywood. I wanted an actress who was beautiful and had a great figure. Because we economized on the amount of cloth, we used in the costume... I wanted a tall actress. She does a lot of martial arts. I couldn't have a 5-foot-1 actress beating up all these big guys. So, I wanted a tall, beautiful woman with a good figure, who was a good actress, but I wasn't looking for Meryl Streep, just a good actress. I figured this would be easy in Hollywood. It turned out to be incredibly difficult. I've never seen so many beautiful bad actresses in my life." Now I can agree that both Michelle Lintel and Joan Severance are gorgeous women in playing Black Scorpion but the way he's trying to find a beautiful woman that had great figure confused because you can seriously look for an actress that has beauty and great figure I mean look at Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman from Batman Returns or even now with Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow in the MCU films, again there is like three billion women on planet Earth that we all live on three billion, and your telling me it’s hard to find a good actress that's beautiful with good figure? I know, I know I'm asking way too many questions furthermore I'm not questioning Corman's choices in both Joan Severance and Michelle Lintel but when I saw his quote's, just so many questions where just popping through my skull that I need to say, huh? Now look if you've never watched the Batman TV series than I take it this wouldn't be a movie for you but deep down I truly believe that everyone needs to see this mesmerizingly bad film. It’s a really, really, good train wreck and you can find this movie on YouTube moreover you don't have to pay anything so the way I see it that's a win, win deal.