House on Haunted Hill

 

                             I remember seeing a VHS copy of House on Haunted Hill laying in my cousin’s house and at a young age I must admit that was a movie I didn't want to watch because I thought that this was scary on so many levels. Now re-watching this along with the Rifftrax commentary of the MST3K crew (Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett) I've now realized that this was a terrible movie from start to finish. Hell, even Psycho was a better scary film than this, aside from that being an understatement. I mean I get the fact that Vincent Price is famous for these cult classics but a movie like this one, has not aged well more like it was the skeleton this whole time then it just assists his own self to a suicide. Now I will go out on a limp and say that Price's best movie so far is is Laura. Although in a foreseeable future, I'll need to talk about that movie but for now let's just talk about the lameness that is House on Haunted Hill.

                            Eccentric, Millionaire Fredrick Loren, along with his fourth wife Annabelle (Carol Ohmart) invites five guests for a party at some estrange House they claim is Haunted. The catch is that whoever stays the night gets ten thousand dollars. Unfortunately, strange things happen around the house for which leads one of the guests feeling hysterical. Now remains the question will they all get out alive for stay in the house forever.

                            Now if you see a man like Vincent Price trying to scare you with spookiness about a house that's clearly not haunted, you'll know that it won't be scary at all. And yet I'm not quite sure if I can rank this as the worst movie ever because in truth, I've seen a lot of movies that were much worse than this one. In honesty my biggest gripe I would have with the movie is Rotten Tomatoes giving this a fresh 88% rating, and I'm sorry but that is something I can't accept because there was nothing scary about this film the Price was overrated moreover just so, cliché when it comes to some of the jump scares especially when he's using this weird contraption like skeleton puppet to lure his unappreciative wife into the vat of acid, and now as a grown man I'm thinking to myself, "Okay? Was this supposed to be scary because there not doing a good job in marketing the scariness more like trying to market something for a short lived tv series, or maybe that was what Price was trying to do but yet decided to make a full-length movie out of it. Okay so now I'm going to talk about this weird relationship between Price's character and Carol Ohmart because to me this is like some sort of 50 shades of Grey thing where they love each other but hate one another physically or whatever the hell that meant, and really watching them act I'm like "look so are you guys going to do each other or not". In fact, I'm almost comparing this to Crimson Peak because that movie as well is not as scary even though Loki and Jessica Chastain haven't even made any updates to the house. Okay, so let's just get down to the point because the more I'm describing the awfulness of this film the more it's not making sense and I'm getting tired just looking at this poster and realizing how I thought this movie looked creepy when it really wasn't, bottom line is that some people would look at films and say that they still live on in age. Well this was a movie that has not aged at all, it was both dumb and lame at the same time moreover if a movie like the guys at MST3K can make fun of it and also make you realize how bad it was well, that's when an atomic bomb has exploded in your brain, so if you’re looking to expand in watching any of Prices films I would highly recommend to stay away from them because you can have your own kid watch these and he/she wouldn't find these scary believe me, I have a nephew who has some scary films and I would believe he wouldn't find this scary.