Piranha

 

                                          Well, we're nearly getting close to Halloween season, and I figured why not talk about a movie that was trying to be the next Jaws franchise but no doubt the most awful yet very sad thing to watch when you look at the movie itself. Piranha in 1978, was supposed to be kind of the next Jaws movie, in that it's about a killer fish that stalks the waters and kills people lurking in the waters, hell I'm surprised we didn't have a movie yet were a killer whale comes out of the water's molests kids and eats them but I guess we live in a safe space of a generations where we can't do that anymore. Either way, Piranha was another one of those B-movie nights with my brother where we both are trying to expand our horizons and, in the end, I'm glad I got to watch the original Piranha before they made remakes of the film back in 2010, for many reasons the real one being I absolutely hate this movie from start to finish.

                                          When thousands of military hybrid piranhas are accidentally released into a children's Holiday camp uses, the race is on to get downstream before the flesh-eating fish do. 

                                          Now the film itself was supposed to be this parody of the classic 1975, Jaws. And yet the main problem I had with the movie was this supposed to be some sort of comedy or a low-budget horror movie? And really if this was supposed to be a comedic parody to Jaws than they really failed miserably at it, especially when it comes to making this funny or unintentionally funny, and if this was supposed to be the next Horror spin from Jaws then they did a mediocre job because a lot of what happens in the movie is so what funny but is like "are you kidding me?" Like there are certain ways to make this scary or funny, I mean maybe the couple who go skinny dipping are drinking some booze then the dude spills some on her girl and she's like "oh well I guess I'm going to have to take my top off", because really this movie is supposed to be a knock off to Jaws so why not just make it more ridiculousness, like a beach party where everyone is playing strip volleyball or an entire plank set on fire and women are trapped on it and they remove their tops to the life guard in order to get attention, and granted those ideas alone would probably make the film worst but it would be better than what the creators were doing with this movie. Sure some of the mistakes in the movie are funny but really when you watch the whole movie you slowly get annoyed about how bad the mistakes continue, a great example of that was when our main protagonists along with a mad scientist (who was responsible of the Piranha's) helps save a kid risking his life and instead of pulling out a half corpse they pulled out a full bodied corpse that looked like it was bitten all over and decided to half ass and not eat half of the corpse, which sure this is a low budget movie but yet you're able to have a full squad of military cast as well as van's and jeeps which is like really, you couldn't just mold a half of a corpse that was devoured by a bunch of piranha's? Which is beyond me to grasp that understanding especially when this is a low budget horror movie. Moreover, the attack on a kid’s camp is just barbaric and find it unnecessary, because really, I would of wished other ways to have that big piranha attack but really not attacking kids, maybe teenagers or college f*ck ups for many reasons one of them they make poor decisions and you feel good inside. A side from this being produced by Roger Corman, it still doesn't change the fact this was one of those cliched, flawed horror movies that wasn't funny at all in terms of how badly made the movie was moreover taking so long in terms of story wise also being super obnoxious of what this movie is supposed to be is one of the many reasons why I would never want to watch this film ever again and more importantly would never recommend to anyone to watch.