The 355

 

                         I was at my brother's house waiting for trick or treaters and I saw the trailer scrolling through YouTube.  My girl Jessica Chastain (I have tried to see every one of her movies, she is my new Johnny Depp) starts off by giving a monolog to the winter soldier about George Washington not giving a female spy her due. I stopped the trailer only 30 seconds knowing I was sold and already going to see this movie.  Sadly I was unable to get to the theaters and had to settle for 19.99 on Amazon.  I can hear you in my head as I type this and you're saying that's just too much, says the reader.  Your right dear reader for the normal person it is too much, but if you meet me you know I am a lover of all types of bad action movies, and combine them with Jessica Chastain who is the best with condescending lectures in movies. 

                         Ok is it worth it? No, not even so bad it's a good action movie. Jessica’s performances are more and more over the top and this one I just rolled my eyes. The plot centers around Jessica trying to buy a computer virus or something. My Eyes rolled in my head when I heard that.  I started thinking about how this was similar to Under Siege 2 where the bad guy is taking over some satellite and he will RULE THE WORLD. In this, it's pretty much the same with the virus able to shut off the world.  The difference is the movie takes itself too seriously. From the trailer, you could tell they were going for a James Bond or Jason Bourne spy movie with female leads. I would like to point out that nothing would make me happier to see Jessica sleeping on a park bench to guys trying to get her to move and she goes ninja on to unexpecting cops. Or have her go full Stallone and use a fifty-caliber machine gun and waste a whole army.  

                         Look as it is, the action sequences don't go far enough.  It feels like the actress didn't want to get into shape to do the kicks or the pouches to make any of the sequences look cool. To tell you the truth it sucks. The action feels so flat because I loved Atomic Blond, Haywire, Mad Max fury road. But Charlize Theron was most likely ever invested in those roles and it showed. But instead of getting actresses who are n invested in the roles, we get very accommodating stuntmen who fall over very easily. Plots that feel like they come right out of a Bruce Willes geezer movie. By the end I was so bored it took me about a week to write this review. So here's the thing don't see this movie even when it's free it's a 1/10 okay a 0/10. PS it's also one of the biggest booms in box office history with an opening week of 5 million.  That's bad lol.