The Lighthouse

 

                                     Continuing with taking a leap of faith in finding those films I wouldn't touch but need to expand my horizons, unfortunately this was one of those movies where I don't know if this was intended to be a comedy or psychological horror movie? The Lighthouse the best way I would describe the movie as a fore warning that 2020 was going to be the worst year of our lives, and this movie came out in 2019 and this was foreshadowing that two week of being in quarantined in your own home, once exposed to Covid will sure be madness. In fact, I believe Fauci's advisors told him to watch this movie, and he was like "nah, the people will be fine". Also, if you're living with a guy who says that he wants a rare steak so bad that he would have intercourse with the steak it's probably best you'd find a way out of the house or sleep somewhere else.

                                      Two lighthouse keepers try to maintain their sanity while living on a remote and mysterious New England Island in the 1890's.

                                      The Lighthouse is directed by American filmmaker Robert Eggers, and the best way to describe Robert Eggers work is it has a lot to do with folkloric and mythological elements with a kiss of historical elements as well and I've recently reviewed another one of his films in The Northman which is a Viking story mixed with elements of Hamlet. Although I dig the Northman for many reasons it has Vikings moreover it does have that bizarre element but, in all fairness, I've binged four and a half seasons of the TV series Vikings and really when it comes to Norse Mythology, they clearly have a ton of weird pagan rituals. Although Northman I can get by on the Lighthouse is a whole, another level of bizarre and weirdness that I can't even explain. I've heard of this movie five years ago but like most of these psychological horror/artsy films I decided in my own personal reasons to pass on it, that is until now when I saw this Lighthouse dub with both Mickey Mouse, Goofy and Donald Duck voices and showed one scene that I knew I need to see this movie and it was Robert Pattinson budging a Sea Gull and it’s in a sort of funny way because I can't go with the idea of some human being able to grab any bird because I tried to catch birds when I was a young kid and I could never be able to catch them either way this was one of those films I figured I might as well give it a try. Sadly, this film is defiantly one of those movies that could be funny but then just becomes boring from start to finish. Now, I get that this film has it's complex elements of character study and cabin fever, but the main problem is both men are crazy though William Dafoe is pre-crazy, Edward is at the start of the movie not crazy just a typical man who is putting up with Dafoe's frequent farts and his strict orders of not going up to the light and then by the end of the movie he's clearly becomes crazy and is fed up with him for which in fairness it's normal because if I was living with any of my relatives for two weeks of covid quarantine I would most certainly lose my mind though I don't remember my Dad farting constantly. The other think in what turns me off this film is when you make a psychological Horror film you must keep your audience on the edge of your seat as well as make your audience scarred from seeing the film. The thing that makes this film not so scary at all is that I personally feel like it was trying to be funny like the bizarre ax chase scene between Goblin and Edward and it's filmed like these two don't know how to run or hold an ax, to these guys getting sh**t faced as well as dancing with each other to getting into a brawl and then Pattinson jerking his boner with a mermaid doll and cuts to him literally having sex with a mermaid which I don't believe is impossible, but really that's just the problem with this movie is that you're not quite sure if this movie was intended to be funny or scary kind of like the Happening where it wasn't marketed right and was revealed to be a failed comedy, and really you can look up logs of lighthouse workers on what they did and I don't quite believed Eggers really did any research on lighthouse workers and yet again people praise this movie as a great movie. For which really I can't believe if the critics of the world really watched the movie whole and just watched the trailer furthermore how can any sane person look at this movie and say that this is scary really just like the Shining where Jack Nicholson is bonkers through the beginning and end of the movie and people say it's the greatest thing ever, it's just one of those things that I don't quite understand but in the end I'm one of the few who don't understand it. If you're into artsy, bizarre horror movies? Go nuts buddy, as for me I just can't recommend it to anyone because it feels like another movie like, the Happening where it's funny but then gets boring through the course of the movie because it's just two actors going insane through the course of the final frame of the film. Now, having watched the movie I do wish they dubbed this entire movie with just Mickey, Goofy and Donald Ducks voice then I would consider this a great comedy for the ages. 

   

                                        

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

 

                                         This Halloween themed movie is another one of those films that I myself want to expand my horizons and find those certain movies I haven't touched, turns out both Invasion of the Body Snatchers are another one of those films that I have not seen and my brother selected the 1978 version of the film, and I haven't seen any of the original movie or 78 version so you have to start somewhere and might as well start out a Phillip Kaufman movie that is somewhat of a letdown in all aspects of a movie about aliens taking over your own body. The film stars Donald Sutherland, Lenard Nimoy and Jeff Goldblum in a role for which I can describe as that person whose the absolute worst and sucks the fun out of life. After watching the movie, I will say that I have officially acquired a Jeff Goldblum accent so now I can go out and help sell apartments to people in a definite fraud way possible.

                                          Matthew Bennell (Donald Sutherland) assumes that when a friend (Brooke Adams) complains of her husband's strange mood, it's a marital issue. However, he begins to worry as more people report similar observations. His concern is confirmed when writer Jack Bellicec (Jeff Goldblum) and his wife (Veronica Cartwright) discover a mutated corpse. Besieged by an invisible enemy, Bennell must work quickly before the city is consumed.

                                          Now, I've heard about these movies in a strange sense I picked up the alien duplication idea and rules from watching an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and they do whole segments of pod aliens taking over human beings. And just to let everyone know I still haven't seen the original movie so watching this movie was something new but also a big letdown in terms of this film being one of the greatest horror movies of all time. And to be fair I know what happens at the end judging by the many gifs I've seen on social media, but I never watched the whole movie, and this was the first time I slowly began to realize how boring and not so impressed in how the movie turned out. This was the first Phillip Kaufman movie I witnessed and a lot of people don't know is that he actually helped with George Lucas in developing the story for Raiders of the Lost Ark although Lucas developed Indiana Jones it was Kaufman who came up with pursuing the Ark of the Covenant and after watching this movie I will state that the man gets a quarter credit of Indiana Jones like about 25 cents worth. What I find depressing about the movie is that there's a lot of unanswered questions in terms of how the aliens begin to adapt to the humans or how there able to consume in just a few days really Mr. Spock is the leader of the consumed aliens and he's perfectly adapted to human cultures and it's not even explained, even more of editing that's a bit of a blur because at the end of the movie the aliens took over earth but it's not explained as how Donald Sutherland is consumed because he trying to hide from everyone and we see a guy looking through a hole with a flashlight and we cut to Donald Sutherland going back to his normal routine and then when he stumbles upon Veronica Cartwright it's revealed he's a Pod Person for which it would me more realistic if you'd just show him being surrounded by pod people and he screams and then we cut to normal, I mean something to make the horror more real than just automatically cutting to being chased and going back to normal. What really ruined the movie for me is Jeff Goldblum's performance in the movie, and sure it's typical everyday Goldblum role but it just him being an annoying f**k and through the course of the movie I'm just telling him through the television to shut the f**k up and go back to sell apartments, hell I prefer 90's Goldblum than late seventies Goldblum. I will say the hilarious part of the movie is Donald Sutherland and his girlfriend take speed in order to stay awake and later they’re captured and forced to take sedatives which is hilarious because it reminds me of Dewy Cox where he takes pills uppers and downers, and it reminds me so much of that joke. I will say that a movie all by itself I would highly recommend staying away from this movie for a gillion reasons it's boring and lame and the cheap visual effects just turned me off of from this whole experience but then that's basically the whole nature of the beast you have to watch these movies that could or may not be a hit and hopefully it's a success but then it's not a great success just like picturing Phillip Kaufman being a cool guy and not a weird f**k in adding a human face on a dogs body and yes this film actually has a dog with a man’s face I'm not sorry for spoiling it just telling you to avoid the movie. 

           

Dracula (1931)

 

                                          Well, having watched two Boris Karloff films, one being not so scary and the other being iconic in its own way. I figured the only way to concluded this epic monster mash trilogy I figured well I have to watch the one true monster movie that started it all the one movie in which everyone would be so creep out after participating in a staring contest with one Hungarian actor and stomp on you and make you feel like your innocence's has been taking from you, and trust me I never felt so uncomfortable after seeing everyone's eyes in this movie. The movie I'm referring to is the Bela Lugosi classic Dracula, a film that sadly was his only great success because as we should all learn that Hollywood personally sucks for many reasons, they cursed actors in being type-cast but in the end, Bela did get the last laugh in wanting to be buried with one of his Dracula capes.

                                           The Dashing, mysterious Count Dracula (Bela Lugosi), after hypnotizing a British salesman, Renfield (Dwight Frye), into his mindless slave, travels to London and takes up residence in an old castle. Soon Dracula begins to wreak havoc, sucking the blood of young women and turning them into vampires. When he set sights on Mina (Helen Chandler), the daughter of a prominent doctor, vampire-hunter Van Helsing (Edward Van Sloan) is enlisted to put a stop to the counts never-ending bloodlust.

                                           The film itself is most certainly based on Bram Stoker's novel but it's also based on the 1924 stage play of Dracula for which Bela Lugosi starred in around 1927 just a couple of years before the development of Dracula began at Universal Studio's. Although Bela Lugosi did star in the Broadway production of Dracula, he wasn't the first choice in the eyes of Universal Studio's and it took countless actors to find the right choice, they even went so far to cast John Carradine for which I don't think I can take him seriously since watching Stagecoach and a Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode of The Unearthly. Director Tod Browning decided to cast Bela Lugosi in the title role though Lugosi was paid a salary of only 3,500 dollars since, he had too eagerly accepted the role though at the time not a whole lot of money but still better to be paid than living through the Great Depression with nothing. The interesting aspect when you put both The Mummy, Frankenstein and Dracula in a row only one of the three are a true monster not Imhotep for many reasons he was just a tragic character because all he wants is to be with the love of his life and will stop at nothing to bring his lost love back even if it means doing terrible things, Frankenstein's monster is on the outside a monster but on the inside is a victim for which he was never asked to be brought to world we live in now he doesn't understand the nature of the laws of men. Dracula is the true monster because all he wants is to prey on women or men and enslave them to do their bidding and has no remorse and with that type of monster who has no remorse is a true monster and Bela Lugosi did an exception job at creating that monster though this was only success and was typecast for the rest of his life. Now again I doubt people today will not be scared of the monster movies in the golden age but the one thing that's so terrifying in the entire film is the eyes and the one actor in the movie who deserves a lot of that uneasiness is Dwight Frye who plays Renfield in the movie, and holy crap the way he plays crazy is just visually stunning but also terrifying especially in on scene where they discover the ship Dracula killed the crew and he's under the brig and shows his uneasy smile it's just so great but also creepy at the same time and even one scene in which Mina starts to attack her lover and her eyes are just terrifying that you’re not sure if she's going to attack him or rape him though let’s be honest if she was intending to rape her lover he wouldn't mind it would most certainly be "oh no, please no, okay honey have your way with me" so, there's no question that everyone's eyes are the uneasy part of the entire movie in fact if I was in a staring contest I wouldn't last and would curl up in the fettle position. Now granted kids today won't be scared by these monster films of the early 30's but the positive aspect of the movie is not just the actors doing a great job but it's 73 minutes so that's always a positive aspect because that's what all scary movies should be in terms of length as well as ninety minutes and two hours but anything above two and a half hours is just way too much. As a film buff, I would most certainly recommend it for anyone to watch old school scary movies, though now I plan to go off and find real scary movies to watch.

    

                                                   

                                                  

Frankenstein (1931)

 

                                            After watching the Mummy, furthermore, feeling a bit mixed on the emotions I decided to watch another one of Boris Karloff's films that made him a monster movie legend and really the greatest one of all the classic monsters movies, Frankenstein. Now, everyone has that one movie that introduced them into the world of Frankenstein and sadly it wasn't the original Frankenstein it was actually Young Frankenstein from Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder, and I can remember watching the original film and realizing wow a lot of references and to keep this short will get to Young Frankenstein in a little bit because it's marked a 50th Anniversary of the release of the film so, for right now let’s get Boris Karloff's greatest performance.

                                            The film follows the obsessed scientist, Dr. Henry Frankenstein, as he attempts to create life by assembling a creature from body parts of the deceased. Aided by his loyal misshapen assistant, Fritz, Frankenstein succeeds in animating his monster, but it escapes into the countryside and begins to wreak havoc. Frankenstein searches for the elusive being and eventually must confront his tormented creation.

                                            During the midst of 1930, Universal Studio's lost 2.2 million dollars in revenues and with the successes of Dracula things really started to change in Universal gained more of their money back in around 48 hours. So, there's no question Frankenstein really became the next chapter in Universals success through the thirties. Now if I had to pick in terms of which is the best of Boris Karloff's performances between Frankenstein's monster or The Mummy it would most certainly be Frankenstein's monster for many reasons it's really him combined with the great makeup as well as his acting and to me his performance alone is what makes the movie, and really is yes a monster but not necessarily a monster the way he's able to portray the monster as a victim and gentle giant you feel more for his character as a misunderstood monster and yet the real monster is his creator Henry Frankenstein who made him out of wanting to feel like God but through the course of the movie realizes his mistake for which sure you can tweak with the script in order to fix that mistake but let’s face it if you did then we wouldn't have Mel Brook's Young Frankenstein. Karloff is most certainly the star of the movie but the supporting cast is also great as well for which includes Colin Clive playing Henry Frankenstein, and the opening part of that whole movie where he's beginning to assemble his creation is just outstanding especially close ups of him being totally delirious moreover insane about wanting to bring life in the world and when I first watch the iconic scene of him delivering the line "it's alive" I just had full goosebumps like it’s just the feel of wanting to watch the scene over and over again and the way Clive delivers that line is so great that it puts a smile on my face just thinking about it while I'm writing this review and more importantly his performance in the first act of the film should be an important example of finding that way to crazy madman performance if you're in actor finding a role. Like all of the classic monster movies from the 1930's for sure their great and excellent but there's always the flaws and plot holes and to be honest I think what confuses me is when the creature begins to wreak havoc everyone is not blaming Henry Frankenstein furthermore not having moments of his own father shaming him for creating this monster and yet he realizes his mistake and helps the crowd search for the monster and again he doesn't get any blame for this but then again there many reasons why they went with this story but then again the more you think about it the more you begin to lose your own mind and reality. No question I would rank the original Frankenstein as one of the greatest monster movies and yet I feel the need to watch Bela Lugosi's Dracula but will most certainly leave that for another time. Like, the Mummy I would highly recommend watching Frankenstein though you can try having your kids watch these movies to test their attention span but, I'm not sure they can go though it but then again, these movies are 73 minutes long so, it could be worth a try.

        

                                                    

The Mummy (1932)

 

                                         Well, it's Halloween season everyone to all of you fall nut jobs that are obsessed with Pumpkin Spice everything I just want to tell you from the bottom of my heart that it's just CINNAMON! Okay, that being said let's get to some Halloween themed movies, from being obsessed with the 1999 version of the Mummy and I've been familiar with a tone of the classic monster movies from the 1930's and I've seen a good well, maybe a few of them more popular ones are Dracula and Frankenstein as well as the Bride of Frankenstein and really I did watch Boris Karloff's the Mummy but then it was one of those films that I'd forgot at a young age. And re-watching the film for the first time is one of those films that you are not sure what to say.

                                         A team of British archaeologists led by Sir Joseph Whemple (Arthur Byron) discover the mummified remains of the ancient Egyptian prince Imhotep (Boris Karloff), along with the legendary scroll of Thoth. When one of the archaeologists recites the scroll aloud, Imhotep returns to life but escapes and starts a journey of bringing back the love of his life.

                                         I think the interesting thing about the classic monster movies from the 30's is that they belong to a study aspect of horror because in all honesty if I had my young niece who loves the horror movie genre she would be bored out of her mind, for which really I can't blame her because when I got serious in watching Dracula or Frankenstein even I realized that these movies where not scary. For which really that basically the reason why they belong in the golden age of Horror and really if we had a target audience between kids now and kids from the thirties it would most certainly be a different debate on what is scary. The surprising thing about the movie is the budget was 196,000 dollars for which really it's the Great Depression of course you'd not have a whole lot of money to do what you can do but really the fact that they we're able to accomplish great scenes in the movie is just outstanding and really cool I mean sure you can do that now with that kind of money but you're not sure if the movie is either a snuff film or an independent sensation. I will admit that the movie is fascination to watch but I still can't turn off that button of where is the scary parts and really that's probably the toughest part especially when it comes to these kinds of films because everyone praises these films and The Mummy is one of those films that came out of the thirties and re-watching the film I feel like it's not as good as I remembered it. Though in all fairness this is a movie from the thirties when we get older, we watch horror films that we loved as a kid and then we slowly see how not so scary it was. Now that being said I don't quite understand as to why we have a Boris Karloff in a mummified mummy that's back from the dead but still looks like a mummy I mean it's a great makeup look and great for some of those iconic close ups but wouldn't it be more convenient to have a regenerated Boris Karloff and still look terrifying? either way you can ask yourself that question and slowly begin to lose your mind. Now I'm a nineties kid and I will argue and say that the 1999 version of the Mummy is the greatest and better than the 32 version now that being said, I'd still watch the movie over and over again because it's one of those films that needs to be understood as a movie that people from the great depression looked at and can escape from their lives during that era of lows in America and I think all of these monsters back in the thirties really helped with that depression and personally that's something you should look for in terms of what good it brought hell even the films poster is in the top five for the most money paid for a movie poster and if you look at the poster on this review it's a great piece of art that most certainly should be cherished. I would highly recommend watching the 1932 version of the Mummy but not have your own kids watch it, not because it's scary or anything like that because of course it's not but in truth they wouldn't be ready for these kinds of movies and maybe when they slowly get older and love watching the horror genre then you can turn it on and watch them with your kids then.